Before I begin the main point of this story, you need to know the background behind the acronym UBT. I attend the University of Great Falls in Montana. This is a small, Catholic liberal arts college tucked nicely behind Target. It's a great school with great classes and people, but it's not very well known. Whenever I'm asked to explain where this NAIA school is, my first response is, "oh, right behind Target." Hence, it was deemed the UBT.
Okay, so, my best friend, Jessica, is from Arizona. And, somehow, UGF found her and offered her a cross-county and track scholarship. So, you can imagine her reaction to 18 inches of snow and 30 below weather around January last year.
It was around 9 at night, and it had been snowing all day. We were a little bored.
"So, do you want to get my snowboard?" I offered the activity we had been obsessed with.
"Nah, not this late."
"Snowman?"
"No.....how about we crawl on the roof and throw snowballs at windows!"
"Um, okay." It sounded fun at the time.
At our dorm building, the downstairs lounge had a shorter roof that sat in back of the building. It was very accessable from a drain pipe on one side.
With small shove from me, Jessica easily shimmied up, latched on to the antenna, and swung on to the lounge roof. Soon, after arriving, she formed snowballs and started chucking. I stayed below, laughing and offering up windows to hit.
Much to our dismay, as the fun was just hitting its peak, I noticed a security guard ambushing us from south side of campus.
"Jess, get down! The security guard is coming!"
No answer, just giggling.
"Jessica!"
Still no answer.
I beat it across the quad out of sight. The guard made his way to the front door of the lounge, stopped, noticed Jess, and ran back outside.
"Hey!" He clicked on his Maglite and spot-lighted her.
"GET DOWN RIGHT NOW."
Party pooper.
Jessica walked over, sat on the edge of the roof, and jumped off into the snow.
"What's your name?"
-Keep in mind that these security guards are not CJ degree-holders. They are simply walking around our campus and other small schools with a walkie-talkie, flashlight, and a married gut looking for unlocked doors and alcohol.
"Jessica Barber."
"Okay. DON'T GET ON THE ROOF!"
The next hour was spent with us worrying what was going to happen to us. The guard talked to the Hall Manager for about 20 minutes. We didn't have a record with the manager, but she knew we were suckers for mischief. In the end, we got a slap on the wrist and a firm warning about roofs.
The guard's best argument: "But they could have been sneaking in drugs."
Our response: "But we weren't."
"But you could have."
"But we didn't."
"But..."
"But....what?"
It needs to be said that earlier last semester that security guard was fired.
Okay, so, my best friend, Jessica, is from Arizona. And, somehow, UGF found her and offered her a cross-county and track scholarship. So, you can imagine her reaction to 18 inches of snow and 30 below weather around January last year.
It was around 9 at night, and it had been snowing all day. We were a little bored.
"So, do you want to get my snowboard?" I offered the activity we had been obsessed with.
"Nah, not this late."
"Snowman?"
"No.....how about we crawl on the roof and throw snowballs at windows!"
"Um, okay." It sounded fun at the time.
At our dorm building, the downstairs lounge had a shorter roof that sat in back of the building. It was very accessable from a drain pipe on one side.
With small shove from me, Jessica easily shimmied up, latched on to the antenna, and swung on to the lounge roof. Soon, after arriving, she formed snowballs and started chucking. I stayed below, laughing and offering up windows to hit.
Much to our dismay, as the fun was just hitting its peak, I noticed a security guard ambushing us from south side of campus.
"Jess, get down! The security guard is coming!"
No answer, just giggling.
"Jessica!"
Still no answer.
I beat it across the quad out of sight. The guard made his way to the front door of the lounge, stopped, noticed Jess, and ran back outside.
"Hey!" He clicked on his Maglite and spot-lighted her.
"GET DOWN RIGHT NOW."
Party pooper.
Jessica walked over, sat on the edge of the roof, and jumped off into the snow.
"What's your name?"
-Keep in mind that these security guards are not CJ degree-holders. They are simply walking around our campus and other small schools with a walkie-talkie, flashlight, and a married gut looking for unlocked doors and alcohol.
"Jessica Barber."
"Okay. DON'T GET ON THE ROOF!"
The next hour was spent with us worrying what was going to happen to us. The guard talked to the Hall Manager for about 20 minutes. We didn't have a record with the manager, but she knew we were suckers for mischief. In the end, we got a slap on the wrist and a firm warning about roofs.
The guard's best argument: "But they could have been sneaking in drugs."
Our response: "But we weren't."
"But you could have."
"But we didn't."
"But..."
"But....what?"
It needs to be said that earlier last semester that security guard was fired.
1 comment:
The married gut, huh? Is it even a real phenomenon? How does it happen? Anyone? BTW, the fact that the drain pipe is such a convenient means of access to the roof is proof that cosmically, the roof is meant for snowball throwing and other nefarious activities.
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